Heaven and Hell
by SWWoman
Summary: A visit from an old friend leads to a chance for John to move on.


**This fic came out of the Careese Chat on the forum last month when ElliQuinn bought up the movie What Dreams May Come. The movie isn't very good, but the concept was rather intriguing, so I both decided to write my take on it using our favorite couple. You may have read Elli's fic Sprung that also came out of that discussion, so you get a 2 for 1. Thanks to everyone who participated in that discussion! If you are a Careeser, you might to drop by the forum the first Friday evening of every month for the Careese Chats, IM if you need details.**

**Once again, I owe a debt to carolinagirl919 for her mad beta skills.**

**I don't own Person Of Interest or the characters; I just take advantage of the fair use laws to write fan fiction for fun, not profit.**

* * *

"HELP!" The scream was shrill and panicked.

John Reese ran towards the sound but as fast as he was, he never seemed to get any closer. His heart pounding and lungs begging for oxygen, he stopped and listened to the frantic cries, desperately trying to determine just where they were coming from.

He turned and ran down an alley next to him, doing his best to follow the sounds to their source, but his heart dropped as he emerged onto the street and saw no one. He realized that he had failed again. He turned and ran down the deserted street, ignoring the piles of trash that littered the sidewalk and the graffiti that defaced the walls. The city was gray and cold, completely devoid of color or life.

"HELP ME! WHY WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME!" the female voice screamed followed by a wail of pure terror.

The screams echoed off the tall building that surrounded the street, amplifying the sound and multiplying the cries until it sounded like there were a hundred desperate cries for help. He had no way to determine which way to run and he was physically spent. With a groan of frustration mixed with exhaustion, John sank his knees. He crumpled against the cold brick wall and put his head in hands. He couldn't save them all.

He couldn't even save a single one.

It was so cold; he was so cold and tired. He had failed again. He always failed; he never got there in time. He gave himself over to despair and huge sob tore through his body.

"Hello, John."

John looked up and blinked back the tears that blurred his vision. In front of him, stood a beautiful black woman. She wore a simple, white, sleeveless column dress that went down to her ankles with a slit on each side running to her knees. Her feet were bare and her smile was dazzling. Her entire body glowed with a warm light. Her hair fell over her shoulders in soft waves and her rich full lips were pulled back in a dazzling smile. But it was her eyes that drew him in. They were huge and shone with intelligence, humor and compassion. John thought she was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen.

"Do I know you?" John asked. She looked familiar, but the memory of who she was hovered just out of his reach.

The woman looked sad that he didn't recognize her. "I'm Joss. Sorry it took so long to get here. You're a hard man to find."

"Joss? I'm not sure I know a Joss." John looked around in confusion. They were the only people on the street, and John couldn't remember ever seeing anyone else. He had always been alone.

The woman who called herself Joss carefully knelt down in front of him, as if she was afraid she was going to frighten him off. "You knew me," she started off slowly. "We were friends, colleagues… Then I died. The thing is… you're dead now, too."

John shook his head. "No I can't be dead, I'm not done…"

Joss reached out a hand to him. "You're done, soldier. Your mission is complete. You paid the ultimate price."

John shrank from her touch. "No, I'm dirty, you'll get dirty." John looked own at his suit, it was torn and tattered and covered in blood. Even his hands were bloody and he tried to wipe them on his pants, but the blood stubbornly stuck to him.

Joss swallowed hard, as if she had a lump in her throat. "It's OK," she whispered. "You won't get me dirty. Don't worry." She inched toward him.

John backed away, his eyes wide. "I'll taint you. I'm covered in blood."

Joss halted her advance, but kept her hand outstretched. "John, I need you to listen to me very carefully. I know you're confused, but I need you to trust me.

"John, you're not in New York. You died. You took a bullet for a teenaged runaway. You saved her life. Please try to remember." Her large eyes begged him to understand.

John looked around at the street, confusion evident in his eyes. His hand reached up and touched a spot on his chest where he had vague memory of a burning sensation right over his heart. Still he had an uneasy feeling there was something more, but the memories seemed to flit just out of his reach. Why couldn't he remember?

"I know it looks like New York." Joss kept her voice calm, but her eyes filled with tears she had to blink back. "This isn't New York, it's the afterlife. This is your personal hell, one you built for yourself because you think you deserve it."

A tear escaped Joss's eye and rolled down her cheek. "John, please believe me, you don't belong here. Please come with me."

John acted as if he hadn't heard her and he stared off into the distance. "I've killed so many people…" he murmured.

Joss shook her head fiercely. "No, you were a soldier in a war. Fate doesn't hold that against you."

"The CIA, I killed people."

"You let some of them get away John. I know about Casey, how you let him go. I know there were others. You saved so many people working with Finch, your ledger is more than balanced, John."

John shook his head. "I'm a monster."

"No you're not!" Joss shouted slapping the pavement in frustration. "You're a good man."

As soon as the woman called him a good man, a memory sharp and clear came to him. He was in the back seat of an SUV while a man named Donnelly drove. Donnelly called him a monster. This woman sat next to him, defending him to Donnelly; she had called him a good man then too. But how could Joss be here? She was dead.

"Joss? How?" He looked up to see Joss crying as she realized he remembered her now. "You died," his voice choked with pain.

Joss swiped at her cheeks, wiping her tears away. "Yes I did. You died too. That's why I'm here."

John looked up at her and the pain she saw in his eyes made her gasp. "I didn't protect you. You died because I failed you."

"You didn't fail me. It was my time to go." Joss reached for him again and was able to brush her fingers lightly across his hand, but he pulled it back quickly like he had been bitten by a snake.

"I lost you."

John buried his face in hands once more and Joss took advantage of his inattention to lay a hand on his arm. "No you didn't, I was always with you," she said softly. "I kept an eye on you."

John looked up at her as he began to put the pieces together. "You're the reason the gun jammed, aren't you?"

"When you tried to kill Quinn? Yes, I told you not to let my death change you. I wasn't going to let you kill in cold blood, I couldn't. You'd come too far."

"Why? Why did you stop me? I wanted Quinn dead for taking you from me."

Joss smiled and John felt a warm glow at the sight. "You're a good man, John. You were too good then and you're too good now to languish here in this hell you've built for yourself."

"I do belong here, but you don't. You should go." John couldn't look at her. She was too beautiful, too good to be here with the likes of him.

Joss shook her head. "Nope I'm staying right here until you agree to come with me. I'm not letting you go."

John looked at her again and realized that a little bit of her glow had dimmed. His eyes widened in horror as he realized that her stubborn refusal to leave this awful place was starting to affect her. "Joss you'll be trapped if you don't leave soon."

Joss merely gave him a serene smile. "I know. But I would rather stay here with you for eternity then leave you behind."

Suddenly, John felt all his memories return in a rush. He felt the bullet pierce his chest. He remembered the pain as he lay on the street bleeding out. He remembered Shaw frantically trying to staunch the flow of blood as she yelled at Finch to call an ambulance. And he remembered the terrified eyes of the teenaged girl he had been protecting as she sat next to his dying body and cried.

He remembered seeing the Light, but he was convinced he didn't deserve the Light. He was the Dark, so he went into Dark. He had been running around in his personal hell ever since, trying to save someone.

He finally remembered it all. And now this incredible woman was here to pull him from hell and offer him yet another chance.

John launched himself into Joss's arms and buried his face in her shoulder. He breathed in deeply of her familiar jasmine scent. He wasn't cold anymore. He could feel the warmth from her body spreading to his. Somehow, none of the blood and grime that covered him smeared her pristine white dress.

Joss's arms wrapped around him and held him tight. "Glad you could make it John." She laughed with pure joy.

John looked up from her shoulder to see that they were no longer on the grimy, gray street. They were now in a field of flowers with the most vivid colors John had ever seen. The sky was an intense blue and even the grass was a brilliant shade of green. It was warm here, warm and comforting. John felt a peace he had never felt in life, and he was... happy.

He stood up to look around and take it all in. he realized that he was no longer in in filthy bloody suit, but now he was in white slacks and shirt that matched Joss's dress.

Joss stood up next to him. "Is this... where I think it is?" he asked her quietly.

Joss smiled, her glow completely restored to the way she was when he first saw her on the street. "Yes, it is. Welcome Home." And she laced her fingers through his and squeezed lightly.

"It's beautiful," he whispered.

"Would you like me to show you around?" Joss asked.

John slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "Later. We have all eternity."

Then he kissed her.


End file.
